Senior Discount Doesn't Suck!

CD & DVD Review by Shaun Jordan

 I would first like to apologize to Senior Discount. I am the reason it took so long to give a review of their music. After Traci listened to the CD the band sent, "There were four who tried," she gave it to me to listen to because she thought it was my kind of music. Since then it has rarely left my CD player. Every time Traci or Tonia asked me for it, I would make up excuses as to why I couldn't give it back, like, "I need it this weekend because I'm playing it for a friend," (like I have friends), or "If I don't have this CD right now, I will negate my entire existence utilizing my banana powered time machine I made out of a skateboard and old VHS recorders. If these excuses didn't work, I would simply hold tightly onto the CD while in a fetal position, crying and whining loudly until they would leave me alone.

I figure you can guess that I really enjoy the CD. I'm not going to go into all the technical bullshit about talent structure and all that. This band has everything it needs to be a good band. It's in there, like spaghetti sauce. Who the hell am I to judge anyway? If you like rock/punk/ska/even, to some extent epic music, with lyrics that are sometimes funny and in other cases having great meaning, you should get this CD. If you don't like this, why the hell are you reading my columns in the first place? You're not worth a damn and screw you, but you should still check out Senior Discount cuz it might open a new world of not sucking for you.

Senior Discount also has a DVD called "Chuck Staton presents VBW Attack! The Senior Discount Movie." I've watched it four times and showed most of it to my Dad and a couple of people who've hung out here. The movie reminds me of times I had in college with my group of friends affectionately known as The Spanky Clan. This movie is not your average band movie with a bunch of poncy big egos talking about themselves and showing clips of live shows till you want to vomit yourself comatose. This movie is the band and a group of their friends affectionately known as VBW pulling stunts, comedic sketches that make me laugh out loud, pranks and cool footage of the band and friends that is all very, very entertaining.

This DVD may not be for everyone, but it has everything a sick and twisted individual like myself could ever need (except for straight-up pornography and pantyhose & stocking fetishism). This movie has everything from electric toothbrushes and hair combs to pickles and hula hoops to dumpsters, cheeseburgers and ipecac. And yes, I know you're wondering, it even has enemas, pumpkins, turkeys and skunks. If you enjoy these things, you have to check out this DVD. If not, you should possibly think about going to a doctor to find out if there is a way to suck less and have more fun. In closing, I love this band and hope to hear more from them in the future. Check them out on their website at www.myspace.com/seniordiscount.